Svadhyaya - Self study for a better life
Have you ever had a tightness in your heart that felt as if it were trying to suck you down into the depths of darkness? That no matter what you did to move forward it just seemed to envelope you and block your way back to normalcy? Many of you are shaking your head Yes. For me this is a first, my normally happy, positive attitude has been replaced with sadness. And while not really a negative attitude has replaced a positive attitude - I just feel..well...sad. This sadness for lack of a better word is so pervasive that I cannot figure out how to get out of it.
As a result I have been digging deep into my mind, body and spirit. In Yoga this is called Svadhyaya. self study, self reflection - the willingness to look at behaviors that drive us in this human life. This self study helps us to see ourselves more clearly and hopefully in the process pierce through the self image veil so we can come out on the other side more whole and at peace with what this life has given us.
So in my self study I first tried to determine the root cause of my sadness. The root cause has not been too difficult to figure out. Just look at everything that has happened to me in the last few months. My real distress is my inability to find my way out of this sadness. You have to understand that I am a person who sets goals and then achieves them. Even if that means that I have to just put my head down and muscle my way through it. The problem is I can't figure out a way to muscle through this and end up on the other side.
Part of the problem is I don't know what is on the other side - I thought I did 6 months ago when I quit my job and opened a Yoga studio - but we all know how that turned out. So what does my other side look like now??? How do I get there if I don't know what it is I'm getting at?
Time for more Svadhyaya - I guess.
Namaste' my friends. I miss seeing all of your smiling happy faces. Please remember to practice your Yoga.
My program teaches us to get out of ourselves and help others. I have found that this works for me. When I am lost, wallowing in my own pain, if I just step outside of my comfort zone, and offer to help someone in need (in even the smallest way), it seems to naturally pull me out of my darkness. Our individual experiences make each of us uniquely qualified to help others with similar situations. Your blog has been and will be helpful to people going through physical obstacles and setbacks, while trying to grow spiritually. Maybe exploring a way to expand your reach will help you? Just a thought.
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Thanks again