Happy 2nd Hip Hooray Anniversary - 5 weeks post surgery

This past week has been full of successes - some big and others minor, but my recovery is, for the most part, moving along.

I graduated to a cane this last Wednesday. I was a little nervous but I am faring well. I do find that I get tired more quickly, than when I was using the walker. I also find that when I get tired my limp really shows and my knee starts to hurt. Usually when one joint is suffering, the joint above or below takes the brunt - so my knee pain is most likely a result of week muscles on the right side. I have to remember to stop, sit and rest for a while - then I'm good for another short time period.

I saw the Surgeon this week. I am now allowed to go in the pool. The incision has mostly healed - but they are very cautious about infection in that area.  I have to keep an eye on the incision and if it looks funky or has pain I have to notify them right away. If infection gets down into the new joint it could mean open me up again and start all over - YUCK!!! The surgeon also said that all my soft tissue healing should be done in the next few weeks. After that it is a long slow process to gain my muscle strength back. I hope my muscle memory is strong and snaps back sooner - rather than later.

I've been in physical therapy 2 times a week and have been doing my own PT exercises at home another 3 times a week. I swam yesterday (swimming is hard!!!) and did some one legged squats in the pool and step ups on my surgery leg. I was amazed how sore I was today from such a simple pool workout. I am also noticing that my feet hurt all the time. I think it is because I walk all crooked, so the bottoms of my feet are working differently...and shoot howdy they are letting me know all about it!

I am off the scary pain meds! Thank goodness. I am now just taking Motrin 800 as needed for pain. I am so happy to be off the narcotics and most of the time feel clear headed . Speaking of clear headed - I am feeling less depressed. For that I am grateful. I am settling into my situation, and understand that this is not forever - but for now I have to accept my fate and keep an optimistic outlook.

I'm still not driving and most likely won't be for at least another month. My daughter has been a great helper and driver and many friends and family have lent me their amazing driving skills to and from Dr. appts , lunch, the store etc. I am so grateful for the support I have been blessed with!

A quick note - a Yoga student of mine is dealing with some pretty serious health issues right now - if you could send positive affirmations and healing thoughts his way I'm sure it would lift his spirits.

Namaste'

Aparigraha - One of the five Yamas or Moral Codes

One of the Yamas is Aparigraha (a-par-i-gra-ha), which has been translated as “non-hoarding”, “non-possessiveness” and “non-attachment”.  the meaning is so much more complicated than these three simple definitions. But for my posting I like to think it means “taking only what is necessary for you to live”.

I found this website that does a great job defining Aparigraha - the wording it uses resonates in me and sparked me to consider if I have been hoarding or to attached to my strong body and perhaps taking it for granted - which may have resulted in me not being honest (Satya - truthful - one of the Yamas) with myself about my body's limitations. Was I ignoring signals that were telling me something wasn't right? I'm so proud of my strong body and all that it can do - but was my ego - my attachment- my pride in that strong body, blinding me to the truth?

The website says:
"What does “taking only what is necessary for you to live” really mean? This means that we must have the basic objects to live a comfortable, safe and healthy life and that the purpose of material things we have in our life is to allow us to live this way. Instead of thinking of possessions as status symbols or something that represents our success, they should be thought of as simply tools that allow us to accomplish our goals in life."

Now that my body is slowly withering away, ( OK - so not withering away -but boy is it starting to get soft everywhere) and not able to do even a fraction of what it could do before, forces me to realize that I need to be kinder and nicer to this amazing machine - my body- so it can sustain me during this human life.  I need to only take what I need from it to really live. I will treat it with kindness and caring and not be so critical of its limitations - now and in the future.  Does this mean I won't push it when I'm fully recovered? Probably not, but in doing so it won't be for my need to be better or stronger or faster - but to keep it in tip top working order so I can accomplish everything that this life throws at me.

Namaste'

website link if you are interested:  http://www.instantgoodkarma.org/Aparigraha.html

Physical Recovery Update - I'll save my pathetic whining for another post

 

Just wanted to give a full report on how I am recovering physically from my surgery. This is much better than my mental state.

 

• Staples are out and my 11 inch scar is finishing its healing with surgical strips
• I still cannot go into the pool until the incision completely heals - this is killing me. I could at least be getting an awesome tan floating in the pool. :)
• I've started PT twice a week and am very happy with my therapists.
• I've been doing my exercises as directed by my PT and can see progress being made already. Yay!
• The PT said I could ride the recumbent bike at the gym for 20-30 minutes. YAY!
• I have also started to incorporate a few very modified Yoga asanas. These are mostly restorative and chest and arm pit openers. Remember an open armpit makes us happy and helps to cure depression. I should be walking around with my arms up all the time -maybe that would help. hahahaha
• I am starting to back off on my meds a little which is a good thing since they really F with my mind.
• I'm starting to get more visits from friends and family and found that even a small daily outing can boost my optimism.
• I'm still dependant on my sexy walker but am hoping to transition to a cane in the next few weeks.

Thank you to everyone who has been in touch with me. Your kind words and outreach of love make a difference in my recovery.

 

Namaste'

 

 

Svadhyaya - Self study for a better life

Have you ever had a tightness in your heart that felt as if it were trying to suck you down into the depths of darkness?  That no matter what you did to move forward it just seemed to envelope you and block your way back to normalcy? Many of you are shaking your head Yes. For me this is a first, my normally happy, positive attitude has been replaced with sadness. And while not really a negative attitude has replaced a positive attitude - I just feel..well...sad. This sadness for lack of a better word is so pervasive that I cannot figure out how to get out of it.

As a result I have been digging deep into my mind, body and spirit. In Yoga this is called Svadhyaya. self study, self reflection - the willingness to look at behaviors that drive us in this human life. This self study helps us to see ourselves more clearly and hopefully in the process pierce through the self image veil so we can come out on the other side more whole and at peace with what this life has given us.

So in my self study I first tried to determine the root cause of my sadness. The root cause has not been too difficult to figure out. Just look at everything that has happened to me in the last few months. My real distress is my inability to find my way out of this sadness. You have to understand that I am a person who sets goals and then achieves them. Even if that means that I have to just put my head down and muscle my way through it. The problem is I can't figure out a way to muscle through this and end up on the other side.

Part of the problem is I don't know what is on the other side - I thought I did 6 months ago when I quit my job and opened a Yoga studio - but we all know how that turned out. So what does my other side look like now??? How do I get there if I don't know what it is I'm getting at?

Time for more Svadhyaya - I guess.

Namaste' my friends. I miss seeing all of your smiling happy faces. Please remember to practice your Yoga.