Tuesday, July 1, 2014

2 years post surgery - a different perception...

It has been a little over two years since my surgery. It's crazy to think how much has happened over the past two years. Recovery has been a long and frustrating road. But, along with that road has been learning experiences, self discovery and growth.

My overall physical recovery is still a work in progress. I am back to my usual activity - albeit with limited strength in my surgery hip. I still suffer from weakness in that muscle area and frankly I doubt it will ever return to full strength. However, I do feel fortunate that I can still cycle and practice and teach my yoga. I know that I am demanding a lot of my body - but I was never one to sit around and let life happen around me. I want to do all that I can with what I've got. This life is NOT a dress rehearsal.

My emotional recovery is subject to my ability to accept that what is. Most days I don't even think about the past two years of my recovery and embrace my blessings with love and compassion. Other days when I'm feeling discomfort or limited to what I want my body to do versus what it can do - I still find myself attached to the past and all those feelings of suffering bubble up. But fortunately those days are few.

My yoga continues to provide me with the physical and spiritual nourishment that my mind and body need to stay healthy and sharp. I can't imagine where I would be without it. When I find myself wallowing in my misfortunes, I reach for those things which I know to be true and that I have learned through the disciplines of the yoga:
  • Judgments and negative thoughts are harmful to you and others - get rid of them.
  • Be kind to myself and love me and everything that I am right now - even the imperfect being that I am.
  • Anger is a waste of energy - love, compassion and kindness make this human life worth living - share that everyday, all day with everyone you meet.
  • My attachment to the way things "used" to be is my main cause of suffering. Be grateful for the things I have right now at this moment - because that is all that matters.
  • Worrying about the future is futile. Every second I spend worrying about tomorrow is a second that I am not present at this moment. I don't want to miss a thing.
So I will continue to forge ahead. Knowing that there will be good and bad days - just like everyone else in this world. Instead of commiserating about these unfortunate events that changed my life and the path it was on, I try to look forward to my continuing journey on this road to recovery. I've met so many great people and learned so much that I would never have learned if this misfortune had never happened. It's funny how a different perception of things can truly change how you look at life.

You should try it...

Namaste'

5 comments:

  1. Amy - I'd love to talk with you about hip revision. I've had the same / similar experience. Carla

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  2. Carla - send me an email via amy@divineyogastudio.com. we can chat more privately there. - Amy

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  3. from a recent dream sequence: an unknown woman in passing informs me: "We fear unknown. We recover the broken off pieces."
    In practice: Breathe deeply, slowing one's thoughts, then asking, what's underneath experientially? What's underneath frustrating-angry? What's underneath frightening, I'm scared? Patience; "what" will slowly rise up to the surface, resolving into focus, clarity. "We recover the broken off pieces." religare: to put back together.
    don't know, straight line, clear mind

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  4. Thank you for sharing your story about your revision. I've had a horrible experience also. Surgery was this past April and dislocated twice in one week at week 7 then had revision right away. I'm really struggling finding information and glad that I found your blog.

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    Yoga teacher training in Rishikesh

    ReplyDelete