Revision Surgery - Learning to let go and accept my fate
The Femoral head they installed from the original surgery is modular - so they can take off the other metal head and replace with a new ceramic head or another metal head with no history of metal leakage. Not sure what they are going to do at this point.
Because of the invasive procedure the recovery will be much longer and the bone will not be weight bearing as quickly as the initial surgery. So that means I will be in the hospital longer, with a walker longer and unable to do many normal things for up to six months. Yoga and cycling - obviously are completely out of the question until healing has completed.
I guess the worst part of this is knowing what I am going to go through during the surgery and recovery- because I have been there before. Last time I didn't know what I didn't know - this time I do. It wasn't fun before and this time it will be less fun than last time.
The Yoga Sutra's lesson of detachment asks us to willingly "let go" and "surrender" to what is. It doesn't mean we shouldn't care, it means that we need to see things as they really are - not what our minds have conjured up as horrible, awful, terrible, unfair - but to love ourselves and embrace what the Divine has given us. To me, it means it is time to change my focus from pity party (while it can be satisfying for a while) to changing my view of the situation and accepting today for today and dealing with tomorrow- tomorrow.
Namaste'
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